Recently, I saw a heading on an Internet article that read, “If only I’d bought that stock ...” Well, sure, hindsight is wonderful! We all have it. But the line made me think: How much time do we spend thinking of the many “if onlys” of our lives? How many regrets flit through our thoughts? Everyone harbors a few—if only I hadn’t missed this; if only I’d found the time to do that; if only I’d been first with that idea, instead of just a little too late.
“If onlys” are exercises in futility. I think it’s better to fill our reveries with all the “I’m so glad I did that.” Such as, I’m so glad I met my husband. I’m so glad I was born in this time, in this place, to these parents. I’m so glad I have the loving extended family who have been among my greatest blessings.
I’m so glad I planted that spindly little magnolia tree 20 years ago. Now it lifts up its arms to the sky and fills my view with pink-and-white beauty. I’m so glad my grandfather planted apple trees 100 years ago. They, too, are a wonder to behold in any season—alive with honeybees among the blossoms in spring, studded with burgeoning fruit in summer, and weighed low with their delicious rosy bounty in September.
I’m so glad I like to read. I’m happy for the myriad books wherein I lose myself for a little while in adventure, suspense, or romance. I’m also happy for the poets whose vision enriches my own. I’m so glad I tried writing myself. Through it, I’m connected to so many in laughter or shared thoughts.
I’m so glad for all the times that I was afraid or too shy to do something, but went ahead and did it anyway. Because thereby, I was able to cook in a bake-off, walk my cat through a Glamour Kitty contest, and speak to high schoolers on career day—all “public” things that I cringe at the thought of doing.
I’m so glad that I got to travel a bit when the time was right. And if I never do again, I have a wealth of mind pictures of mountain villages in Mexico and tiny churches in Hawaii, of surf pounding the rocks of Maine, of wild taxi rides in New York City, and miles of quiet beach on Cape Cod.
I haven’t used up all my “I’m so glads” by any means. I can still fantasize about watching a night-blooming cereus unfold, something I’ve always wanted to do, or about meeting one of my favorite celebrities, or even of losing a few pounds.
But you see, these aren’t things to mutter “if only I had” about. They’re just events that haven’t happened yet.
最近，我看到互联网上有一个标题为“要是我购买了那只股票该多好啊……”的文章。的确，事后聪明很令人愉快！我们都有过这样的感受。但这句话却引起了我的思考：我们到底花了多少时间来思考我们生活中的“要是当时我……该多好啊”呢？有多少遗憾从我们的思绪中掠过呢？每个人都满怀这样一些假设——要是我没有错过这件事该多好啊；要是我能够抽出时间做那件事情该多好啊；要是我没有稍微迟缓而是第一个想到这个主意的人该多好啊。
“要是……该多好啊”是一种无用的练习。我认为最好都用“我对做那件事情很高兴”来填充我们的幻想。比如我很高兴遇到了我的丈夫。我很高兴出生在这个时代、这个地方、这个家庭中。我很高兴拥有这样一个充满关爱的大家庭，这是我最大的幸福之一。
我很高兴20年前种植了这棵细长的小玉兰树。现在它将自己的枝干伸向天空，涌入我眼帘的是那粉红色和白色的美丽景象。我很高兴我的祖父在100年前种植了这些苹果树。无论在任何季节它们都是一种奇迹——春天开花时蜜蜂活跃在它们周围，夏天则挂满了稚嫩的果实，到9月份它们则成为饱满而芬芳的蔷薇色果实。
我很高兴自己喜欢阅读。我很高兴能够有一段时间深深陶醉于无数本图书里面的冒险、悬念和浪漫。我也因那些使我自己的想像力得到丰富的诗人而快乐。我对自己能够尝试创作感到非常开心。这样一来在笑声和同感中，我与如此多的人建立了联系。
凡是要做某事我感到害怕或太腼腆，但还是勇往直前，终于把它做了的时候我感到非常高兴。因此，我才能够在一次食品烘烤比赛中进行烹调，通过“魅力小猫”比赛来遛我的那只猫，并对高中学生发表关于工作日的演讲——这些都是一想到要去做我都会感到害怕的“公共”事务。
我很高兴当时间合适时自己能够去一些地方旅游。如果我此后不再旅游了，我可以在脑海中浮现出墨西哥山村和夏威夷小教堂、缅因州海浪冲击岩石、纽约城中出租车的混乱和科德角数英里宁静海滩的一些图像。
我没有通过任何手段来用完我所有的“我非常高兴”。我仍然能够幻想着观看一个夜间开花的仙人掌展现在我面前，幻想着我要去做的某件事情，幻想着遇到我最喜欢的名人，或甚至梦想丢掉几英镑的钱。
但你要知道，这些事情都不能够使我发出“要是我曾经……该多好啊”的喃喃自语。它们只是到现在还没有发生的一些事情。